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If Microsoft built cars
a parody of the Technology industry

I recently found a digital copy of this information that was sent to me a few years ago. I am sure that there have been several versions of it and here is yet another. If you created it, please let me know and I'll get your permission to republish - you did a great job. Since I don't know, I can't.

While this list is meant to be silly and funny and be a parody of the of the computer industry, technology companies are now getting more involved in the automotive industry, so I certainly don't want any of this to really happen. I have corrected some of the technical errors in the version I received anonymously.

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason and you would just have to accept this, press restart and drive on.

3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT" Group License. But, then you would have to buy more seats as well.

5. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was much more reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 10 percent of the roads.

6. The Apple car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

11. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.

Dated: April 1, 2001


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